Opening her eyes
by twisted-coil
Summary: A challenge story the events which lead to Clarisse and Joe's first kiss. Sometimes you just have to do things the hard way.


This takes place between the two movies, assuming that there has never been a relationship of any kind.

* * *

Closing the door behind her, Joseph strode round to the front of the limousine and got into the driver's seat. Turning the key in the ignition, he glanced up to the mirror and frowned slightly. She was tired. Too tired. Slipping his leather driving gloves on, he eased his foot off the brake and pulled out into the road.

As she relaxed back, Clarisse glanced up and checking he wasn't watching... slid off her shoes and curled her feet up under her on the seat. Closing her eyes, she couldn't help the sigh that escaped. Today had been tiring. In three weeks, Amelia would be arriving in Genovia and, whilst she was of course eagerly anticipating seeing her again, there was a lot to prepare if she was to be able to devote all her energies to the young girl. Practically all her official visits had been crammed into a two-week period, at her own insistence, of course, but nonetheless, now it was getting a little exhausting. Today had been the fourth full day in a row – the new burns unit in the hospital this morning, the lunch with the three new government ministers, and then the opening of the mathematics department at the University this afternoon. This morning she had snapped at Charlotte without really meaning to, and she was certain that her smile hadn't been nearly so convincing as usual in the photos taken this afternoon. Still, she had been there and done what was expected of her.

His eyes still ostensibly on the road, Joe couldn't help but sneak the occasional glance at her in the rear mirror. Her eyes were closed now and, knowing her as well as he did, she looked a little sad. He wondered, for the umpteenth time that day whether it was still a good idea to ask her. Was this really the right time? She was so distracted these days, so exhausted…but then again, maybe this was precisely the right time? She raised her hand to rub her eyes, careful as always not to smudge the makeup, and then began to stare out of the window. He swallowed, and coughed nervously,

"Your Majesty...I was wondering...might it be possible for me to take this evening off?"

She started a little as his words cut into the silence, and for a moment she had to process his words, her mind having been entirely elsewhere. Coming back to herself though, she nodded distractedly,

"Of course, Joseph...you know you don't have to ask me. Have you arranged some cover?"

He smiled slightly, and looked up to meet her eye in the mirror,

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can find someone to take care of you..."

She grinned back, rather half-heartedly in his opinion, and shook her head,

"You make me sound like some kind of child..."

"Not at all, your Majesty...but don't worry, everything has been arranged."

She nodded and, the conversation over, she leant back again into the seat.

His eyes back on the road, he tried to concentrate on the driving. He had done it, and she had agreed. Still she didn't know why, and indeed, if she did perhaps she wouldn't have been so amenable, but he didn't want to think about that right now. At the moment it was enough that she had agreed.

* * *

The drive continued, and Clarisse felt herself becoming increasingly sleepy. Looking down at her watch, she was horrified to realise that it was only five o'clock. Two hours until dinner, and plenty of work would be waiting for her on her return. From the looks of the scenery, she had about ten minutes until they arrived at the palace...ten minutes to last until she could distract herself from this sleepiness. Still, in the meantime...

"So, come on then, fill me in, what are you up to this evening, Joseph?"

Smiling to himself, he looked up and was surprised to see she was still looking out of the window,

"Nothing in particular, your Majesty...why do you ask?"

She bit her lip, and he smiled to himself again. The air-conditioning in the car was on rather high and she felt a shiver run down her back. Indeed, he had a point, why did she ask? When she finally replied, her voice was quiet, distracted,

"No reason...just curious as to what you spend your evenings doing. I don't think I remember the last time you asked specifically for a night off. "

Still she looked out of the window, watching the buildings sweep by. His eyes looked back to the road, effortlessly easing the car round the tight corners of the small town.

"I don't think I ever have, your Majesty...but tonight is important."

She nodded, her hand idly caressing the fold of her jacket,

"So are you going anywhere nice?"

An ambulance passed them, sirens wailing, and for a moment he was distracted. As they resumed their pace though, he nodded, perhaps more to himself than his passenger,

"I hope so – I'm hoping to see a film with someone"

As her eyes shot up to the rear view mirror, she was surprised to see him looking back at her. Suddenly unable to hold his gaze, she looked back out of the window and forced a smile. The disappointment in her eyes had been impossible to mask though, and immediately he wondered if he had been right in telling her. Now she was looking away again, and that was worse. Disappointment was painful, but being ignored was unbearable.

The buildings of the town faded into the dark greens of the countryside as they wove along the few miles that led up to the palace grounds. Clarisse continued to toy with the hem of her jacket, distracted and confused. Why had this affected her so much? She bit her lip again, and leant a little against the glass. She should be pleased for him. For so long he had been alone, just like her, and he deserved so much better. No, she _was_ glad for him. This would change nothing, she needn't feel threatened, she had not lost anything. As they swung into the long driveway of the palace though, she wondered why she suddenly felt so nauseous.

* * *

Charlotte was waiting at the door the moment they arrived, and, as she slid out of the car, Clarisse knew already that this could only mean one thing. Work. And probably something urgent. Remembering her earlier harsh words to her assistant, though, she smiled broadly and made a move in her direction. Joseph was standing by the car, slowly removing his gloves, and after a few paces she turned and, swallowing almost imperceptibly, lowered her voice,

"I hope tonight goes well...you deserve the best."

He nodded slowly, and their eyes met,

"Thank you...that means a lot to me."

She turned then, and refocused her attention on Charlotte. There was, after all, a country to run.

* * *

Back in her office, Clarisse wondered idly how it was possible that so much work was able to accumulate in one day. Of course, the answer, as she well knew, was very simple. In spending all her time out and about, next to nothing was getting done back here at the palace...and, well, like it or not, the piles of work that now littered her desk would not clear themselves.

As Charlotte came in, with a tray of tea and biscuits, bless her, Clarisse settled herself in for a long night.

* * *

"Your Majesty?"

She looked up again, taking a sip of her now lukewarm tea as she did so,

"Hmm?"

Charlotte looked slightly concerned, and looking quickly over the document in her hand again, bit her lip,

"Um, well, I think you've signed this one twice..." she reached over to the other file that they had been working on and picked it up, "...and I think we've somehow managed to get this one all mixed up."

Sighing, Clarisse shook her head,

"No Charlotte, there is no 'we', _I_ am the one who has got things confused, pass it here..."

She did, but still she looked concerned,

"Forgive me, your Majesty, but is everything alright?"

Again, the Queen sighed, and slumped uncharacteristically back in her seat, only slowly raising her eyes to meet her aide's inquisitive gaze,

"Oh, I don't know...I'm just tired. I just don't seem to be able to concentrate."

Charlotte smiled and looked over at the clock conspiratorially.

"It is nearly a quarter to seven...perhaps we could stop now and come back fresh tomorrow morning? You haven't anything scheduled until eleven, and I don't mind coming in a little early if you want to get things sorted out then?"

Smiling warmly at the woman who had become the closest thing she had to a best friend, Clarisse nodded her approval, and, it must be said, her relief.

"Thank you Charlotte...what would I do without you?"

Charlotte blushed and looking away politely, began to tidy away the papers that they had been ploughing through.

* * *

As she wandered down the empty corridors of the palace, gradually meandering her way to the dining hall, but deliberately taking her time so as not to overly confuse the serving staff, Clarisse wondered why she wasn't feeling any better. Her eyes were heavy and her head was beginning to gently throb with tiredness. With mild irritation she realised that any appetite she might have had earlier had now well and truly deserted her. Dinner was going to be long and, though she would of course make a valiant effort, hardly pleasurable. Hopefully it would be something light.

Turning a corner, she was pleasantly surprised to find that the lights in the corridor leading to the library were off, and she was about to turn down the stairs when she noticed that a light in the library itself was lit. Frowning a little, she looked at her watch. She was still early, and that light would annoy her if she left it. No one, except she, Charlotte, the maids and, sometimes, Joseph were allowed in the library. And Joseph was the only one who she had ever found in there at this kind of hour. But it couldn't be him, he would have already gone. And anyway, he would either have shut the door or turned off the light as he left.

As he left. Suddenly that phrase had acquired a sense of finality that made her feel desperately lonely. He had left. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself that it was for the best. He was not her plaything, he was her security guard and, she hoped, her friend. He deserved his own life, however much that thought might strangely make her angry. She swallowed again, willing the muscles that were tightening in her throat to relax. She was tired, she was getting needlessly emotional. She had no rights over him. She should be happy for him. And she was running out of things to tell herself to stop herself from crying right there and then...

Placing her hand on the slightly ajar door, she realised that it was only the dim table lamp that was on. Wiping back the stray tears that had somehow escaped her eyes, she chided herself for being so stupidly sentimental, and wandered over to turn it off. The room was plunged into almost-darkness, and she carefully made her way back to the door.

"I wondered for a moment if you might not come..."

Jumping a little, she let out a small cry, and brought her hand to her mouth ...recognising the voice almost immediately. For a moment, she was too shocked to respond,

"But..."

As the moonlight streamed through the slightly opened curtains, she could just about make him out. He was leaning against the doorframe, his shirt slightly unbuttoned at the top, his eyes fixed on hers,

"I..."

Still the words didn't come, and he moved away from the door, closing it softly behind him, and came to stand in front of her. The light caught her cheek, and he looked at her sadly...lovingly.

"Clarisse...you don't have to cry."

As he reached out to gently wipe the tears away, she shuddered a little and bowed her head. For a moment she wondered if she was imagining it all. She couldn't understand, couldn't see why he was here. He wasn't meant to be here...he should be at the cinema, with her, whoever she was... And yet, as he tenderly stroked her cheek, his face just inches from her own, and his fingers sliding up to run through her hair, she realised that he was indeed here with her.

"Joseph?"

He smiled, and nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving hers,

"I'm afraid so...I've been waiting for you."

She swallowed, blinking back the fresh tears that threatened to fall as her confusion grew deeper,

"But you were meant to go out...you said tonight was important...I...I don't understand."

He took a deep breath and bringing his other hand up to her cheek, closed his eyes.

"I said I _hoped_ that tonight would be important...I hope that it still will be. I'm sorry if I upset you."

After a moment's pause, she brought her hand to rest on his upper arm, not pushing him away exactly, but clearly holding him at arm's length while she struggled to understand,

"But the film, you said you were going to the cinema?"

He smiled again and shook his head,

"I never mentioned the cinema...I said I was going to see a film with someone."

He moved his hands slowly down her face to shoulders.

"I meant _you_, Clarisse..." He shook his head, knowing how impossible it would have been to leave her. "It was always you. It...it's always been you"

He looked at her a little nervously, and subconsciously rubbed his hands up and down her upper arms to try and relax her. She was still looking at him, transfixed almost. Then something snapped inside of her, and she turned away, escaping his gaze…his closeness. This could not be happening, this scenario had all been arranged, set-up…she had been set-up. The anger coiled up inside her again, his control, his presumption. How could he play this game with her? She had trusted him so much.

As his hand came to rest cautiously on her shoulder, she closed her eyes.

"Please, Joseph…please leave me alone"

For a moment he seemed to be considering her request, and then he gently squeezed her shoulder,

"No"

As she swung round, her eyes full of emotion, he wondered for a moment if he had pushed her too far, but now it was too late. Her voice was unsteady…full of anger or pain, it was difficult to tell,

"Now…I want you to leave now"

He shook his head calmly, his eyes never leaving hers, and slowly stepped a little closer,

"Joseph…I'm asking you, for both our sakes, please leave me…"

Only a few inches from her face now, he began to gently caress her shoulder again, his voice no more than a whisper against her cheek,

"I'm sorry, Clarisse…I can't do that….I won't. Not again, not any more…I love you too much"

As the world threatened to spiral around her, she closed her eyes. Her mind raced with objections…questions, and yet it was if she had suddenly lost the will to process them all at once. She was so tired. Tired of arguing, tired of convincing herself, tired of pretending. She shivered and, in spite of herself, leant into his touch. Slowly, he brought his left arm up to encircle her shoulders, and gently eased her towards him. He felt her lay her head against his collarbone, and he wrapped his other arm tightly around her. Little by little, he felt her own arms come to rest around his waist, her body gradually relaxing against him, until they were both still, listening to each other's breathing.

For a long moment, neither spoke, until Joseph finally broke the silence, his voice low and full of emotion,

"Can you forgive me?"

Enclosed by him like this, her cheek pressed warmly against his shirt, Clarisse realised how much she felt at home. An almost overwhelming sense of security seemed to surround her, and the fear which had engulfed her was rapidly fading away. His hand was smoothing small circles on her back, calming her, reassuring her, and she almost dissolved once more into tears at his tenderness. He had arranged everything, somehow...and somehow, almost without her knowing it, he had found her.

"Promise me you won't do something like this again"

Knowing full well she wasn't referring to his embrace, he took a deep breath and pressed a kiss to her temple,

"I promise...and I'm sorry. Believe me, I couldn't make myself do it again. But I had to know..."

She shifted a little in his arms, and looked up at him, his expression too difficult to read in the dark.

"You are too good at being professional, my darling...I had to know what you were feeling...for a Head of Security, I'm not very secure."

She pulled away slightly, and looked at him, her hand coming to rest on his chest,

"You could have asked me..."

Again, he kissed her, this time gently on the forehead, and her eyes slid shut,

"But could I? Really?"

She looked at him again, and felt her heart sink a little, hearing the truth in his words. Sliding her hand up his neck, her fingers found the hair at the nape and stroked him gently,

"Oh Joseph...what have I put you through?"

He smiled, kissing her again, this time his lips lingering a moment longer,

"Nothing that wasn't worth it to hold you like this now...I love you, Clarisse...I always will"

As their lips met, she felt his hand come to cup her cheek tenderly. His mouth was warm against hers, and his kisses were soft and inquiring. He teased her lips with his own, smiling as she ran her fingers across his beard, and returned his playful kiss. He kissed her nose and her cheek, and then drew her back to lie against his shoulder, his heart swelling as she nestled in.

"I've wanted to kiss you from the first day that I met you, Clarisse, did you realise that?"

She smiled, and looking up at him again, kissed his chin,

"No. Not then…but…" She faltered, not quite ready to admit to herself how long she had felt this way,

"Oh my darling...I wish...I…" He paused, knowing the impossibility of putting into words the longing of almost a decade, "but it wasn't possible...you see that, don't you?"

She nodded, tightening her embrace and pulling him as close as she could, the tears now beginning to fall. To his credit, Joseph didn't speak a word...there was, after all, nothing to say. No words could take back the years that had already gone.

"I thought I'd lost you…I was so scared"

He closed his own eyes now, and kissed her forehead, wondering how this wonderful woman could doubt for a single moment that he loved her. Once again taking her face in his hands, careful, almost as if he were afraid she might break, he looked in her teary eyes.

"You will never lose me, I promise. No matter what"

She smiled, sliding her arms around him, and he dropped another kiss to her nose. Still unsure of how to reply, how to voice all the emotions now coming so evidently to the surface, she nuzzled her cheek against his. Clasping her hands behind his neck, she pulled him closer, her lips coming to claim his. The initial shock of his revelations having faded somewhat, she felt the passion rising inside her, his hands moving across her back, his body warm against hers. This was not simply the attraction of protection, of security...this was attraction, pure and simple. And it was intoxicating. His taste filled her senses, taking her over, and she felt herself grow short of breath. As they broke apart, they held each other's gaze, unable to draw their eyes away. There was a real danger that they might fall out of time if they continued like this.

It was he who smiled first, his eyes crinkling as he tenderly tapped her on the nose,

"You are perfect – I love you"

She raised an eyebrow and smirked mischievously,

"And you are a charmer...but I'm sure I can cope with that"

He grinned warmly, thrilled at the renewed sparkle in her eyes, the implicit challenge, and took her hand in his. Feeling her thumb caressing him, he leant over and whispered in her ear,

"So, my darling, would you like to watch a film or not?"

* * *

An hour later, as Charlotte crept quietly into the library, she couldn't help but feel disappointed as she saw Joe sitting alone on the couch, watching some old Hollywood flick. Unsure of whether she should console him, or leave him to his disappointment, she hesitated in the doorway. Finally deciding to try and cheer him up a little, she stepped into the darkened room.

As she neared the couch though, he turned and, seeing who it was, pressed his finger to his lips. Curious, she moved closer still...and then smiled. There, wrapped up in a blanket, her head cradled in his lap and fast asleep, was the Queen of Genovia. His hand was gently stroking her hair and, making sure that she really was asleep, he turned back to look at Charlotte. She bent slightly, so as to whisper in his ear,

"I'll shut the door on my way out"

He grinned and winked his thanks as she moved back towards the door. Charlotte had, indeed, been so instrumental in his plan this evening...he owed her more than he could ever repay. Looking back down, he smiled contentedly, and caressed Sleeping Beauty's cheek. Her lips curled slightly at his touch, and he pulled the blanket a little further over them. He had no idea how things might progress from here, and for the moment he didn't really care. There would, inevitably, be issues to resolve in the morning, decisions to be made. But if she would let him love her like this, would let him in…then maybe, someday, it might all be perfect. Until then, this would be enough.

* * *

A/N Hope you liked! Please review... ;o) 


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